Hope

I buy a new ornament each  year for the boys. I try to choose one that reflects something special about the year or something they enjoy at the time. While I was shopping this little gingerbread girl caught my eye. I smiled at her and then walked away. I had never bought anything for our daughter and hadn't planned to until we get her picture. I'm not sure why the picture has been my line in the sand, but it was. And then I thought that maybe it is okay to buy one thing, some little ornament so that someday she will know that in 2011 we thought about her everyday, we prayed for her everyday, we waited and hoped for her everyday. 

IHNFA is on strike so there isn't any news on our dossier. Our new documents are in Honduras; one has to be translated so hopefully that is being done. Emily from our yahoo group compiled a list of families who are waiting to bring their children home & emailed it last night. I was excited to look through it this morning. Now I know who to pray for.

2 more documents down...

Yesterday I got a new employment letter & had it notarized & certified. Today T & I made a quick trip to Nashville for the apostille. Hopefully it will be in Honduras early next week and hopefully it's what IHNFA wants.

Talk about interrupted plans- and God showing me again that I am not in control. I had a to-do list a mile long today & thought I would make some progress with T at preschool. He played his Leapster all the way to school this morning & just as we pulled into the parking lot announced his belly hurt. And then he threw up. I know he was car sick but I couldn't very well leave him at school, so we headed home. It's a little funny now that it's over and he isn't sick but needless to say, my to-do list is now even longer. But I spent the morning in the big city with my big boy. I have what I call a "negative sense of direction" which means whichever way I think we should go, really the complete opposite direction is correct. I'm sure it would have been funny to trace the path he & I made to the Tennessee Tower in search of the Secretary of State. And the thing is- I had been to the office in August! If we would have simply gone about 3 blocks from our parking lot we would have made it there in about 10 minutes. But of course that would not have been near the adventure we had. T kept saying "I remember where we parked the van!" until we were headed back and he realized he was clueless. I love that kid.

The letter

I received the most beautiful letter in the mail today--- our new consulate letter! Joe picked it up for us on Thursday. I praise God for his work in this situation. I prayed, David prayed, my friends & family prayed, and it was done EASILY! Our program coordinator was also able to ensure that other families who had already traveled to Atlanta will also be able to receive their new letters without a return trip. These things mean a lot as we wait, jump through hoops and wait some more. What would I do without my praying friends?

Painting

IHNFA reviewed our dossier & has asked for a new letter from the consulate and a more in-depth letter regarding my employment. I almost panicked about the consulate letter as Atlanta is 5 hours away, and we have already been once. In the past it has been difficult to contact anyone there.The first thing I did was email a few prayer warriors and ask them to pray specifically that we could get this taken care of easily. I think "easily" was a big leap...we're talking about the government here. But God has shown himself mighty and we should have our new letter in the hands of our friend, Joe, in the morning. Joe works a few minutes from the consulate and he is helping us out---again, along with his precious wife Kelly who will mail that beautiful piece of paper to us.

I painted the boys room this week. I hate to paint. I'm no good at it. I like to begin projects but become easily bored, and painting isn't something I can shove into a closet, shut the door and forget about. The worst part is prepping- moving furniture, washing walls, removing hardward. I just want to start and get it over with- I was tempted to just paint around door knobs and skip cleaning the dust from the corners. But I did it the right way and as I did I thought about our adoption journey. It hasn't been fun so far. It has been stressful. My insides feel tight and doubt creeps into my head... did we choose the right country? is this the right time? do we really want to do this? is it ever going to happen? And then I am reminded of the paint prepping, and I know God is preparing us for something- I mean someone- really beautiful. The boys' room isn't perfect, I have already chipped paint and I even see a few tiny spots in the carpet, but it's pretty and clean. And it's a lot like this journey we are on, it's not fun but we have faith that what God started in us he will finish to his own glory.

If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Dont think you're going to get anything from the maker that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open."

James 1:5-8 (The Message)

October bouquet

Another reason I love living in Tennessee: flowers in October, on my Dad's birthday.

Fall Break

Nolan has been on fall break this week. Thomas also declared he was on fall break, so he stayed home with big brother instead of going to preschool on Tuesday & Thursday. It has been a lot of fun having them home- we needed a break. Last Saturday we camped at Camp for Christ with our Life Group--all 56 of us! It was great...well...most of it (1 small vomiting episode during the night wasn't so great). We roasted marshmallows, went on a hayride, worshipped together & relaxed. The kids were treated to a horse buggy ride by Dasher. On Sunday we went to the Pumpkin Patch with Jay & Callie & Aunt Lana which is a fall tradition.



Tuesday David & Bopa had a small "incident" involving David's truck, a stump, a trailer and a tractor. No one was hurt, and it's just a truck, and trucks can be fixed.

Yesterday we went to Raccoon Mountain Caverns and then to Ruby Falls in Chattanooga. This morning we got up and headed to Stone Door in the Sequatchie Valley. It was a perfect day for a hike. The weather was cool, the sun was out and the trees are turning.

The boys had a ball- they ran ahead of us most of the way. T was a troll under a bridge at one point. We had beautiful scenery and enjoyed a snack off the beaten path. T decided he would like us to build a campground near the trail and seemed to have most of the details mapped out. Tonight before bed he asked when we could get started building it. Here he is in his favorite spot.

We had the best time over the past two days. We generally really enjoy each other's company, but some days are extra special. Everyone was in a good mood, things went our way, the weather cooperated, we laughed easily. I know these kinds of days are good gifts from our Father and I am so very thankful. Sometimes I am still surprised at how much God has blessed my life. I haven't earned one single thing and certainly don't deserve these two beautiful precious boys and my kind-hearted, strong husband, yet he shows me over and over how much he loves me.

leaf race

Better than I thought...

On Tuesday we found out our dossier had been presented to IHNFA, along with four others from MLJ, last week. It makes me feel so good to know others are right there with us, going down the same path to grow their families. We are pretty certain we will have to at least update our psych evals as they were short (4 pages versus 9 that others have resubmitted). We have been advised to just wait & see what we are told as it most likely depends on the person reviewing our report.

One step closer.

No News

Good news: our dossier has been translated. Bad news: woman in charge of dossiers is on week #2 of her 3 week vacation...so we wait. So I think good news + bad news = week #6 of no news.

Atlanta Consulate

On Wednesday, August 24th we headed to Georgia. Nolan was happy to be out of school a little early & the van was packed. The Robertsons love a road trip. After our traditional Cracker Barrel stop (because David really is a generous husband and always lets me choose- except for our annual supper at Red Lobster), we made it to Joe & Kelly's around 8:30. The boys played in the best playroom ever before heading to bed. I was relieved to see our dossier with my own eyes, and Kelly was right- the envelope looked like it had been through the ringer. Thankfully the contents were fine- a few dogears on the apostille covers, but okay otherwise. We had a great visit with our friends, as usual, but I spent an anxious night worrying. We lacked a registration number from our agency; our program director was doing her best to get it, but we were told we would not get the consulate letter without it. I must have checked my phone 20 times- and then at 5:30 a.m. the text came with the number we needed.

After breakfast we headed for Atlanta. Two thoughts occured to me as we navigated the lanes-where did all of these people come from? and why is there so much distance between entrances to the HOV lane? We made it downtown and thanks to other families who generously shared their consualte experiences found the building easily.

As we walked up the stairs, I saw a beautiful little girl playing with her brother. I took it as a sign of encouragment. The consular's office is on the second floor (thank you Kelli & Lena)- we entered and asked for Maria, who the other families had worked with. We were told we would not see Maria, but a lawyer in the same office. That information made me a bit nervous, but what could we say? After waiting a few minutes, Cristopher called us back and asked for the two pieces of information we were told we would need: our agency's state license and Honduran registration number. We gave him the information we had, but for some reason it was not adequate. I made a quick call to our agency who emailed him the same information and ta-da, he said after we paid a fee he would write our letter. So we did and he did! We found our way to the nearest FedEx store and I took our documents in to mail to our lawyer in Honduras. My only thought was to get our dossier far from me! I copied the letter and was told their computers were down and they would not be able to process our package. No problem- we found another store. I addressed the envelope and gave the very friendly clerk my debit card to pay $130 for shipping. My card wouldn't work...I called David in, he paid, we posed for a picture and handed it over.

Headed to Atlanta? For real?

I followed it via USPS.com from Indiana to Atlanta to Memphis and then back to Atlanta again...And I am thrilled to say, thanks to my new best friend Doug, an exceptionally helpful postal worker in Georgia, our dossier is safe.  After 12 days of it MIA, it is now in the hands of our awesome friends, Joe & Kelly, who retrieved it from Doug this afternoon. Tomorrow we will be reunited with it before we take it to the Honduran consulate in Atlanta on Thursday. We will receive  one more document and mail it to Honduras! Finally! After almost 6 months...After work today I ran to my doctor's office to get copies of blood tests (which our lawyer told our agency we needed yesterday), the hospital to get the boys' and David made a trip to his doctor. It is going to be such a relief to have that thing on its way to Honduras. Of course we know that once it is reviewed there additional documents will be requested...but still, for us this will be huge.

Control

This summer I have been (slowly) doing a bible study called "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. I have identified two of my "gods"- comfort and control. I feel God using this adoption to teach me...over and over and over...that I am not in control. He is. I know it in my mind, but I feel so much better when I think it's me. Nothing has been easy about this whole process. The little things- the things no one else seems to have a problem with- have smacked me down. Our dossier seems to be lost somewhere between Indiana and Georgia and I can't talk to a single person who can help me today. So very frustrating. But God knows. I know He has a plan. And I know she will be worth it.

On Sunday our Life Group worked at the Ronald McDonald House in Nashville. It was wonderful. Those families know who is in control. While some cooked breakfast others cleaned, dumped pull tabs into big containers and prayed over rooms the families stayed in. David and a few others "worked the room." Not a natural tendency for David, but that's probably why God gave him the opportunity. He shared communion with one man and listened to several others share their stories. A man from Kentucky was visiting his brother's child and staying at the RMH for the weekend. He & David began to talk- he and his wife had recently adopted their daughter from China. Before we left, the man (we didn't even get his name) came into the living room and handed David some money...for our daughter. It brought tears to our eyes and immediately humbled me. We cannot outgive God. We spent a morning trying to show His love to hurting families and He turned right around and showed His love in such a beautiful way.  I'll never forget it.

Home Visit

Lisa, our social worker, visited last Thursday (05/05/11). She was very friendly and easy to talk to. She talked to the boys- Nolan told her his favorite thing is "nature" and he told her about his trails in the woods and the big pointy rock. T told her all he likes to do is "rock on," while wearing his electric guitar around his neck. We hope the first draft of our home study is done this week.

Bringing Home Baby Sister

Remembering to take joy in the little things of my day is one of the hardest parts of being a mama. I'm pretty good about the big stuff- birthdays, holidays, lost teeth, graduations. Those things are great but they really pale in comparison to day to day stuff. For example, on Saturday I paid the boys their allowance for their chore charts. Nolan owed me money from a recent purchase, so after he anted up, he ran with his two quarters to his bank. He then ran back to the kitchen with two fists full of dollar bills and change and put it all into our "baby sister" money jar. I told him not to, but he said he wanted to and he put it all in there. I cried. Today T helped David till Nana & Bopa's garden by walking through the dirt in his crocs, breaking up the clumps as he went. Last night T got 4 purple gumballs out of his machine and asked me to give them to Taylor Rose; she likes purple.